Now, before we get into this, I am by no means disregarding goal setting – it’s an AMAZING tool to achieve the things you want in life, but…
When we become so heavily focused on the END goal, we miss all the LITTLE things we can be doing right NOW to achieve that goal.
The issue with this, is that when you’re always looking ahead to the next milestone, you’re constantly putting your happiness off until that moment. You tell yourself, “I’ll be happy when I achieve this goal”, but why are you wasting so much time being unhappy and waiting around for that day to come when there’s so much more you can do and enjoy?
Now, how can we better approach it?
Our long term goals are achieved by performing small, consistent tasks.
Small steps lead to big wins.
Where a lot of us go wrong with goal setting or even HABIT forming, is we go all in – thinking we need to radically change everything overnight – and then, after a week or two, we burn out.
This then leads us to thinking “this is too hard” or “I can’t be bothered anymore” – we feel you sis, we’ve been there too!
But what if I told you that you could achieve any goal by starting out with a 2 minute task (sounds too good to be true right – hear me out)
Let’s say your goal is to hit the gym straight after work. The habit doesn’t start by rushing to the gym and working out for an hour. It STARTS with the simple act of changing into your activewear as soon as you get home.
If your goal is to go for a walk, the habit doesn’t start by committing to a 30-minute walk straight away. It STARTS with you putting your runners on and stepping foot outside your front door, or even driving to your walking spot.
This can be applied to anything, but you get the idea.
Motivation Doesn’t Come First—It Comes After
Still feeling like you’re lacking motivation to get up and go? You’re not alone, sis. You’re not a bad person if you don’t feel 100% motivated all the time. The harsh truth is, the motivation comes AFTER the task is performed and you begin to see results / realise how good you feel after doing it.
So if you’re struggling, take some time to list down your reasons WHY you want to achieve this particular goal, and try to bring them back to YOU.
It’s easy to set goals based off EXTERNAL motivation (or societal standards) – such as “I want to go to the gym so I can fit into society’s idea of fit and healthy” versus..
INTRINSIC motivation which might sound something like “I want to go to the gym because I know it will help improve my mental health and my relationship with myself.”
When you’re motivated by self-love, not self-hate, the journey becomes a lot easier to navigate. Intrinsic motivation is tied to your deeper values and desires, and it keeps you moving forward even when things get tough.
Don’t overcommit and overwhelm yourself sis. Instead, focus on small, manageable actions you can take consistently. These little wins add up, and before you know it, you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come. When you focus on smaller steps, you can celebrate your progress along the way—rather than feeling discouraged because your big goal seems so far away.
On the days when you’re feeling meh or just can’t be bothered to do the “little things,” remind yourself of why you’re doing this. Having a strong “why” will keep you grounded and focused. Whether it’s to improve your mental health, build confidence, or feel physically strong, your reasons will help you push through the low points.
You’re going to have ups and downs, and that’s okay. But every step, even the small ones, matters. Every day you show up for yourself is progress.
3. Be Kind to Yourself Along the Way
We’re often our own harshest critics. When we’re not where we think we should be, we can start beating ourselves up and wondering if it’s even worth it. But the truth is, you don’t have to wait until you achieve your goal to feel good about yourself.
Instead of criticizing yourself, choose to be your own biggest supporter. Celebrate the progress, no matter how small. Be kind to yourself in the process, and remember that growth doesn’t always happen in a straight line, or even overnight.
Sometimes, it’s a few steps forward and a couple steps back—and that’s completely okay.
But just remember, you do not need to wait until you’ve achieved your goal to be “happy”, the power and growth is in the process!